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=> Jesus speaks on Cain’s Transform.
|You go your own Way & Then you wonder… Why did I fail?|
Jesus says… You go your own Way & Then you wonder… Why did I fail?
December 20, 2019 – Words from Jesus to Sister Clare
(Clare) Thank You, Jesus, for allowing me to see my nothingness. I have new hope, knowing that You alone can do what is required. And I finally recognize my very real poverty.
Lord, I see that I am still trying to do things in my own power, on my own. As I struggle with settling in and organizing, I see that I have very little control over letting go. Letting the mess go. I still feel the compulsion to organize more, so I can find things more easily. Yet, I am sick of STUFF! All I want is to be with You and the souls who need me. Yet, I find that this compulsion to organize is constantly inserting itself against You. And I’m at war. It reminds me very much of what St. Paul said, when he said I do the things I wish I wouldn’t do. And I don’t do the things I wish I would do!
(Jesus) “Clare, you need functional organization, but the bare minimum. You see, you have so much it owns you, My Love. Use late afternoon to complete these details but give Me the very best time of the day and ignore them until later. This I will assist you in.”
(Clare) Well, Lord, what is mostly on my heart is getting free to work with music. I don’t seem to be able to do that. And now I recognize I have been trying to do that. I am laying this at Your holy feet, Lord, with the confession that I cannot do this. I cannot rule over my time to accomplish this. I am coming to You in utter poverty to do at all!
Jesus, I am counting on You. I give this to You. No longer can I try on my own. I can only acknowledge my weakness and give it to You.
From your Mercy, Lord, I expect wonders. It is only Your grace and mercy that can deliver me from this quicksand I call my life. I don’t want this to be my life any more, because I have nothing to contribute. All I can say is that my ‘life,’ my attempts—even my very best attempts— are failures without Your major intervention.
I am laying this broken toy at Your feet, Jesus, and begging you to have mercy on me. For in my own strength, I have done nothing. Only You can make this happen.
Oh, Jesus, change my heart, so I am no longer captive to my flesh! Please, Lord, change my heart! Use my time wisely. I lay it at Your feet. You are the only One who can resurrect this broken dream. Show me the way out of this morass of self-will and lead me to freedom.
My heart is bursting with desire to fulfill Your will in this. And I am finally, thoroughly, convinced I cannot do anything with my own resolve unless it is empowered and sustained totally by Your merciful provision of grace. I recognize that I have been trying to do this. I recognize I have not acknowledged my complete and utter dependence on You, but rather I have tried…
When what I should have done is take another honest look at my profound emptiness, calculate exactly what I could expect from myself, and acknowledge that to be nothing. Not one thing of any value. I cannot do it. I acknowledge that.
Lord, I am but a lump of animated clay, totally reliant on Your breath of Life.
I have deceived myself in thinking that I’ll get it together today, tomorrow, next week. The fact is, I can’t get it together. So, I am coming to You bankrupt and begging You to take over! Lead me by Your grace and mercy to make up for my lack and shortcomings. Please, Jesus. Accomplish Your will in my poor life.
(Jesus) “You have spoken well, My very little Clare. You are seeing the Truth now. You are, for the first time, plumbing the depths of Truth and seeing that what I have laid before you is not possible, nor is it within your reach on your own. I sympathize with you, Dearest. I know the depths of your pain and frustration, and you have made a wise choice.”
(Clare) Lord, I do not always know what You want from hour to hour. Some, who are more spiritually attuned say that they know what You want of them from minute to minute. I confess, I don’t. I know that that poison of self-will is strong in me, and I long for You to take it from me – if only You will.
(Jesus) “I receive from you, your will. This will take time: but remember. I do not work through you as I do with some who are convinced they hear Me say ‘go here, go there, do this now, do that.’ And it is not for you to judge if they are accurate, or if I am truly speaking to them. But I assure you, accuracy eludes even them at times, or they would be ruined by arrogance and self-confidence.
“You see, My Love, even in hearing My voice, you are all subject to error. Some who wish to be seen as self-sufficiently in My will, by their own power, are gravely deceived. I must allow the fruit in their lives to ripen before they will even suspect how far they have strayed. Some wish to be independent, head-strong, self-sufficient, without error. But because I love them, I will allow this error only so long as it is necessary—and then I will remove the veil of Pride and Ignorance and they shall once more be broken and truly dependent on Me, and the very least of all in their own eyes.
“That is why you cannot address this when you see it in a soul. I must work with them until they are ready, and the fruit, being rotten, reveals there is error in their ways. Until then, be patient, My Love.”
(Clare) And here, He’s talking to me about a certain situation that I know I cannot do anything for but pray.
(Jesus) “But you have come to Me fully aware of your fault of being self-sufficient, being able to do this, having self-control and wisdom, etc. etc. You have seen yourself, and while it is painful and stripping away all confidence in your own ways, it is marvelously fruitful.”
(Clare) Lord, I suspect vain glory here. And I felt that way because I could see that… He was talking about another soul, and I didn’t want to fall into judgment over that soul.
(Jesus) “Look to your covering, Clare. What has he told you?”
(Clare) Yeah, and he has confirmed what I am feeling, and what the Lord is talking about.
(Jesus) “I am merely fleshing out for you the fault all of you on Earth have at some time in your lives. And some, multiple times in their lives, because it takes repetition and maturity to really ‘get it.’
“You have come to Me naked, blind and poor. Then, shall I turn you away? Shall I say to you ‘keep trying with your own wisdom’? Or should I not acknowledge your very honest confession that you indeed have been trying to do this on your own? I am so glad you are seeing this! You thought you saw it before, but truly, you didn’t or your actions would have brought forth good fruit. But you stand before Me now empty-handed, bankrupt, and looking only to Me as Your Savior. Shall I not reward this with My intervention?
“Oh, My People. You do so much in your own power. You are convinced that I am with you. And I do accompany you, but you never reach the depths of your neediness before Me. Rather, you acknowledge the Gospel premises that you can do nothing without abiding in the vine – but then you turn and go your own way, in your own strength, and you wonder… ‘Why did I fail?’
“I tell you truly, just as Clare has failed, so have you – because you do not acknowledge the depths of your absolute emptiness and bankruptcy. The Christian soul who thinks they can do anything, because they are competent, is deluded. And sooner or later will suffer crushing defeat. The soul that trembles before My words and comes to Me on bent knee, confessing their faults and insufficiency—that soul will receive the graces they need to succeed.
“For some it is impossibly hard to acknowledge their weaknesses and failures in life. So, they find strength in self-help books, and launch out on their own – this time laying the groundwork and better preparation.
“However, those who do not wait on Me to provide the inspiration, guidance, and help will never reach their full Christian potential I created them for. The ones who will most succeed are the littlest ones that tremble at My word.
“Sure, you can see others accomplish great things while they congratulate themselves and bask in their own shadow. And they may accomplish a goal, but their character will suffer.
“I want you to succeed at things while growing in greater humility and dependence on Me. I want you to demonstrate to the world that I can do whatever I choose to do through souls who will cooperate, no matter how little they are in the eyes of the world.
“You see, the goal in life is not to succeed at enterprises. The goal is to grow in holiness and love of your brother, to prepare yourself for Heaven while taking others with you. When these two dynamics are satisfied, then no matter if you failed in the eyes of the world, you indeed succeeded.
“I have seen your poverty all along, Clare. I have seen the compulsions that cause you to go off course. And with your sincere confession of helplessness, I am moved to pity. And by My grace and your obedient efforts, I will cause you to finish the songs and do even more before taking you to Myself. But most of all, My dear one, I want you to remain as helpless as a little child before Me, constantly praying and relying on Me alone. In this way, you will remain irresistible to Me, and together our music will touch the hearts of those who yearn for greater depths with Me.
“But here I must warn you, Dearest. Do not compare yourself to other recording artists. Fly on My inspiration alone, and leave off with looking at the ways of others. Rather, look to Me, Clare. Look to Me and we will explore the sounds of love together.
“Look also to My Mother to help you arrange your time and anoint your voice. She has a major impact on your music that you are not aware of. Her peace, protection, and profound gentleness will infuse our music with another lovely dimension. She is always with you, always solicitous for you and wanting you to succeed, with all her heart.
“One final word: leave off with condemning yourself. You have been through an enormous trial lately, taking care of the souls who come to the Refuge. Building, organizing, and moving your life up into this Heaven-blest seclusion. Do not downgrade yourself for being absent to music. You have had your hands full, and you are not Superwoman.
“You are just My little Clare, barely out of diapers. Wide-eyed with the wonder of this place, while being responsible to provide order and direction. That is more than most could ever get done. But because you abide in the Vine, things do fall into order.
“Yet this is a new season of complete dependence on Me to bless our music and bring forth comfort to the nations. I am with you, Dearest one.
“And I am with all of you Heartdwellers who have abandoned yourselves to Me and rightly see yourselves as very, very little and insignificant. This I will bless. This is Humility, and it is the bedrock that will support your house as it grows into something beautiful for God.”